7 Essential Pieces of Advice for Husbands of Stay at Home Moms

Being a stay at home mom isn’t easy and it can be straining on any marriage. If you’re a husband of a stay at home mom, you probably know that some days can be tumultuous or frustrating. While there’s always two sides to every story, there are some things you could do to help. Read on to find some great advice for husbands of stay at home moms to help her (and you) out.

mom and dad with toddler

1. Help Delegate

A stay at home mom spends all day doing everything by herself. She cleans, takes care of kids, and runs errands all day. When you get home, you could easily increase her mood by simply delegating tasks. Take some stress off her mind by assigning chores to kids and picking up chores yourself. Even if you simply do the dishes without being asked, it’s one more thing off her mental to-do list.

After working you are certainly tired, but so is she. By taking her stress-level into consideration, you show her how much her work is valued.

2. Encourage Her

No matter what you come home to, you should always try to make her feel appreciated and respected. Maybe the kids were especially bad that day or she couldn’t get all her housework done. She may feel negative or guilty about her parenting or spousal capabilities. Reassuring and encouraging her not only builds her self-esteem but lets her know that all her efforts are not in-vain.

One of the simplest, yet difficult pieces of advice for husbands of stay at home moms is to stay positive. Remind her of all the good she does and how much she means to you.

3. Realize That Some Days Will Be Better Than Others

Not every day is going to be sunshine and roses. There will be days when you return home from work and the kids were well-behaved, your wife got a lot accomplished, and she’s generally happy. There will also be days where the kids don’t listen, your wife got nothing done, and she’s ready to rip her hair out. Not every day is perfect, so your expectations should match. Do not expect your wife to always be in a good mood, as there may be real reasons for her not to be.

Instead of expecting your stay at home wife to always be happy about her life, ask her what went wrong and if there is a way you can help. More often than not, your wife will be happy to unload after a frustrating day. This not only makes her feel better but brings you closer together as a couple.

4. Free Her from the Kids

father and kids outdoors

Even if your children are all school-age, a stay at home mom rarely gets time away from the kids. Even when the kids may be at school, she’s running herself ragged until they get home. While it is certain that she loves your children, it doesn’t mean that doesn’t get frustrated with them. When you come home, try playing with the kids for a bit while she relaxes or gets some chores done.

On your days off, maybe you could consider taking the kids out for a bit while your wife naps or does something she enjoys. Take them to the park or out to a movie; she will appreciate any break she gets. Many stay at home moms build-up resentment after years of feeling like she alone is responsible for the children. By taking some of that burden off of her, you give her time to unwind and also appreciate all you do for your family.

5. Do Not Get Upset at What Is Not Done

When you come home, is the house always spotless? Fairly often the house doesn’t look the way your wife hopes for when you get home. Most of the time it is not because she is lazy, but because her day was filled with millions of other little things. Instead of getting upset that the laundry isn’t done, dinner isn’t ready, or the living room is a mess, make peace that it will never be perfect. Instead of expecting perfection, appreciate the effort you know she makes and offer to help where you can.

If you get upset about the condition of your home on a daily basis, your wife could feel guilty and doubt her abilities. This could inevitably start a rift between you as husband and wife. Try to be understanding and accept that stay at home moms cannot perform miracles.

6. Make Her Take Care of Herself

Woman relaxing in the spa salon

This piece of advice for husbands of stay at home moms may sound forceful, but it may need to be. Many stay at home moms worry and work all day taking care of everyone else; including you. She strives to be the perfect housekeeper, cook, wife, and mother, but worries about herself last. If she does not take care of herself and put herself as a priority, she could suffer both mentally and physically.

You could very easily recommend that she takes some time to herself. Let her go out with friends, bathe or shower, relax with a book, or get a massage. You’ll show her that she appreciated and worth the effort.

7. Notice the Little Things

As stated before, stay at home moms spend all day running ragged for everyone else. They take care of every little, minute task throughout the day and remember all the things you may tend to forget. Because they know and see how much they do for you and the kids, your wife can often feel unappreciated and her self-esteem can diminish easily.

When she cooks your favorite dinner, lays out your clothes, reminds you of your next appointment, or sends out your mother’s birthday card, let her know that you notice. This little bit of advice for husbands of stay at home moms can make her not only feel appreciated and loved but give her a reason to continue doing those little, but amazing things.

Summing Up

Just as the stay at home mom in your life tries her best, that is all that should be expected of you as well. The best piece of advice for husbands of stay at home moms we could give is to always try to be understanding, appreciative, and loving. Try not to judge and always be sure to let her know what she means to you.

Image Source: DepositPhotos.com

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